Birthday!!! or Birthday???

So i hate birthdays...well... my birthday...i don't know why...but i do...i like other people's birthday...maybe because the attention is not placed on me...what do you think?

The only Woman in my life!!!

So i finally got my puppy. Her name is Triskey and she is a ball of fire... the connection i share with her is like no other i love her so much. She is playful and fun. Always full of life and energy. :)

I got an Inspiration!!!

So i got a inspiration but what is it about u might ask? Frankly i dont know. i am trying, i really am but it all doesnt make sense...i may as well let it go...i may as well give up. so wat am i to do. Do i adapt or die? As many times as we've heard it, the lesson doesn't get easier. The problem is we're human. We want more than just to survive. We want love. We want success. We want to be the best that we can be. So, we fight like hell to get those things. Anything else feels like death.

I am trying to figure out...

There is a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasnt because I thought I would be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love? And then you don't have it. What if you like it? And lean on it? What if you shape your life around it? And then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is, death ends. This? It could go on forever ...

The Story

Each day we live we write the story of our lives. We are writers and composers of our own reality and the good thing about this written reality is the fact that we are in control and that we are the ones who define and determine what story our story tells. We go through days, weeks, months and years with baggages and indelible marks that we allow to define us. Marks that are left on us because we allowed it. Life is a game, a game where everyone can be a winner, a game where everyone can be a loser, a game dependent on how you play. A game dependent on you the individual. so Each day as we live our lives lets do our best to write the story we want to be read.

Secrets

Many of us have secrets that helps to define who we are. Do we keep these secrets because we are afraid of who we are, or who we can become? Do we keep secrets because the story we have to tell may not be accepted? 

Words

Words are meaningless unless they have a purpose, context, order and perspective. Bearing this in mind i will quote a few lines from some songs:

1. Brandi Carlile, The Story-"All of these lines across my face, tells you the story of who i am..."
2. Ana Nalick, Breathe (2am)-"And breathe...just breathe..."
3. Snow Patrol, Chasing Cars-"We do it all, on our own. We don't need anything, or anyone..."
4. James Morrison and Nelly Furtado-"You can't play our broken strings, You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel I can't tell you something that ain't real..."
5. Celine Dion, Taking Chances- "What do you say to taking chances? What do you say to jumping off the edge?Not knowing if there's a solid ground below..."

These are only a few of the many songs that professes humanity and soul. The order of the words gives us our perspective, its purpose and contextual meaning. So what am i trying to say?

I am saying that words are the medium through which we express ourselves and allow people to understand us and who we are, and these words when said can never return to its source. 

Mild Discoveries

As the years go by, I try to learn about myself. I try to get to know me. I try to understand the person living and occupying this body. And here are some of the things I have discovered.

• I discovered that i like reading. I think about it now and i wonder if I would like it even if my mom wasn't a teacher and wasn't adamant about education. And judging from my personality i really think i still would've. This is because reading is a vacation that takes you away from reality. It is the best vacation and the cheapest that anyone can do. It is not limited by class, or social standards. It is that one vacation that no one can take the enjoyment and excitement out of. 
• I have also come to realize that i like writing. Many people say that writing gives insight into one's soul and many agree that the way a person writes reflects how and who they are. For once i agree and will not be pessimistic.I like writing because it is my only mode of expression. it is the only way i am able to truly express myself whether anonymously or not. And frankly, writing is fun.
• I like to eat. I like to try different cultural foods but i am very picky when it comes to my food. I like to eat but i am a peculiar eater. My favourite thing to eat is cereal. That is my comfort food.
• I also like to sleep. 

As you can see i like anything that takes me away from reality. Because my reality is yet to not suck.

In the beginning...

In the beginning of the year 1989, two lives came together to create one. And on the Friday of October 27, 1989, a beautiful baby was born to Nadine and Leford Peynado. Looking at such ravishing and breathtaking beauty and perfection in their little bundle of joy, they named her Renae Shaneque Peynado. Seven years later they then join forces, concieved and had another baby girl and named her Rushae Moneque Peynado.

At this point the story of my life begins. At this point the worries in my life begin. At this point the battle of survival began.

Now here I am at age 21 looking back and realize that i have not done anything meaningful or substantial with my life.

Isn't life a treacherous bitch? Many people might agree, while some may say life is a gift. I do agree life is indeed a gift but one thing we must all remember is where there is a gift there is also a curse. So Life is both a gift and a curse to and for all.

The Beginning!!!

"So here i am once again, am torn into pieces can't deny it can't pretend just thought you were the one." These are the words of a famous singer and song writer that is playing my head and has now made its way to the page i am now typing on. My life has been a journey that can be described as: fun, adventurous, exploration, boring (for the most part) and interesting, among many other words that eludes me right now.
This i must say though...My life is and has always been a trip...and the documentation of the journey now begins...